AASP Blog

As a parent, you want your child to succeed in sport, yet we often only think of success in terms of winning or losing. Instead, success can be measured not just by winning games and trophies, but by growing into an individual who is confident, focused, and can demonstrate resilience when challenges arise. These are the wins that matter the most because the lessons your child learns through sport can largely shape who they become far beyond the playing field.

Mental strength is a psychological skill that develops through both wins and setbacks. It is a vital part of performance, combining emotional control, psychological flexibility, resilience, and the ability to perform under pressure. Just like improving footwork or developing your swing, mental strength grows stronger with consistency and intention. Athletes who build strong mental skills are better prepared to handle the demands of both sport and life.

As a parent, it is not always easy to know how to help your child navigate complex situations in sport. You may wonder if you are being too hard on your child, putting too much pressure on them, or wondering if you need to be more encouraging or assertive. These are normal concerns that many youth sport parents struggle to address.

The good news is that you do not have to be a sport psychologist to make a positive impact on your child’s mindset and overall sport experience. With a few simple approaches, you can help them build a strong mental foundation that enhances performance, while boosting self-confidence and grit. 

Here are five practical ways you can support your child in building mental strength through sport:

1. Recognize Effort Over Outcome
Praise your athlete for how hard they work, not whether they win or lose. When children understand that their effort is within their control, they can demonstrate more resilience when they are challenged. Instead of saying, “Great job on the win!” try “I’m so proud of how hard you worked today.” This intentional shift encourages a growth mindset, which is the belief that skills and abilities can be developed with effort and practice. Children with a growth mindset view setbacks as opportunities to pivot when things do not go their way (Dweck, 2006). By encouraging a growth mindset, you emphasize that every athlete can always control their effort, no matter their level of talent or skill. 

2. Normalize Mistakes and Failure
Mistakes are part of sport, yet many young athletes fear them. Reassure your child that it is okay to make mistakes, and they are not expected to perform flawlessly. Help your athlete reflect upon and reframe what they can learn from a tough day on the field. Over time, they will start to view mistakes and failure as feedback rather than permanent defeat.

3. Encourage Performance Routines
Routines can help athletes feel more in control and focused during competition. They provide comfort and a sense of familiarity when other aspects of sport performance are beyond their control. Encourage your athlete to develop a routine that works for them, which could include strategies such as deep breathing, listening to music, or using a simple mantra before practices and games.

By establishing a consistent routine, athletes learn to self-regulate their emotions when they encounter uncertainty and anxiety. This process supports mental strength and resilience, encouraging athletes to take positive action in an effort to ground themselves. It can be a powerful tool for calming the mind and managing pressure.

4. Promote Productive Self-Talk
Children often repeat what they hear from the adults around them, including parents and coaches. Help your child develop encouraging internal dialogue by modeling it yourself. After all, your conversations can become their self-talk. Productive self-talk can support psychological stability in sport and performance, which contributes to the overall development of mental strength (Nicholls, 2022). 

While it is important for parents to model productive self-talk, they can also help their child identify and practice productive self-talk to remain mentally strong during challenging situations. For example, you might want to help your athlete create a mantra such as, “I have trained hard for this moment. I will give my best effort today.” This encourages a productive and forward-thinking mindset.  

5. Let Them Take the Lead
Mental strength grows when children feel a sense of ownership over their experiences. By asking open-ended questions when athletes encounter challenges, parents are encouraging self-reflection and independent thinking, which can help guide young athletes toward creating their own solutions. When athletes understand that their decisions and actions influence outcomes, they take responsibility for their own growth and development. Athletes build mental strength when they develop the courage and confidence to solve problems on their own.

Developing mental strength is a gradual process that takes time, consistency, and patience. As a parent, your role in fostering this mindset is critical and can have a lasting impact beyond sport. With intentional support and a focus on growth, young athletes can build the mental strength and confidence needed to navigate challenges and perform at their best. 

References

• Dweck, C.S. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House.
• Nicholls, A. (2022). Psychology in sports coaching. Routledge.